Practicing Presence and Relationship in Youth and Young Adult Ministry

Within the Episcopal Church there is a universal truth; we all want more children, youth, and young adults to attend our churches.

At our last diocesan convention, the Youth and Young Adult Ministry Task Force asked the diocese in a survey, “How can we support your church’s ministry with children, youth, and young adults?”

Many church leaders simply responded, “We don’t have any children.” That can make us all disheartened and cause anxiety about the future of our church that we love.

As a rector, I can relate. When I was rector of St. Aidan’s in Olathe, if children attended services, we’d celebrate and pray earnestly they’d return. Often, they didn’t; and we were in an area of Kansas City that is well populated by young families with children. We’d ask ourselves, “How do we get more children to attend our church? The church down the street has a lot of them!”

At St. Margaret’s, Lawrence, where I currently serve as rector, we have many children in our Godly Play program, but we worry about providing a program for them when they get older, realizing their schedules will become more full with activities like sports, dance, choir, and theatre.

I’ve noticed that we often focus too much on what’s happening inside our church, forgetting our neighbors. St. Aidian’s may have had no children sitting in the pews, but the church supported children in the community in a variety of ways, adopting a local school, providing back snacks to school children who are food insecure, supporting teachers with notes and treats, and mentoring school children.

St. Margaret’s is joining Trinity in Lawrence in providing a youth ministry program. Our vestries committed to putting money in our budget to support the program and hire a part-time youth minister.

I’m convinced that many of our churches can provide a place for their youth to gather. Youth and young adult ministry in a rural setting is not primarily about large programs or full Sunday school classrooms. It is about presence, relationship, and faithfulness across generations.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t need to go on a ski trip. Find ways to give youth an opportunity to form community. A place they can feel safe and be themselves. A place that welcomes their questions and identity. That’s what they’re really looking for. Youth and young adult ministry is not only about serving the children who are already present. It is about shaping the future of the church, signaling hospitality to the wider community, and living into the belief that God is always doing something new.

by the Rev. Tom Baker