Diane Sherwood, a parishioner of Good Shepherd, Wichita, worked for twenty-five years as a divorce attorney and high-conflict mediator in family law. Throughout her practice, she has managed some of the most high-conflict divorces in the state of Kansas.
In 2018 Sherwood attended a mediation conference where Eileen Barker, a fellow mediator and attorney from California, was the keynote speaker. Barker is the author of The Forgiveness Workbook and leads forgiveness trainings and retreats for lawyers, mediators, health care professionals, and others. Sherwood was intrigued and put her name on Barker’s mailing list.
During the pandemic, Sherwood enrolled in a train-the-trainer program. Barker told her that to do this she would have to do her own “forgiveness work” and identify someone she needed to forgive. Reluctant at first, Sherwood found that she might not be as ready to forgive her “forgiveness object” as she originally thought. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to let go of something she felt had come to define her. Barker encouraged her by saying, “Wouldn’t it be interesting to find out?” She also found it liberating when Barker explained that “forgiveness is a choice,” and she would be free to choose whether or not to forgive.
Through the training, she learned the techniques which she now teaches. Barker’s training draws from many secular sources and books. One practice Sherwood finds central is Ho’oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and healing that involves expressing remorse, gratitude, love, and asking for forgiveness. Based on the idea that everyone is connected, it also involves taking responsibility for the pain, suffering, and cruelty that exist in the world. The ideas of interconnectedness and owning responsibility rang true for her and continues to do so with those she now teaches.
Experiencing the training brought a new perspective to her vocation and sense of calling. She started the Center for Peace and Forgiveness while training with Barker. Then in January of 2021, she notified judges in Wichita that she was no longer practicing law but would continue serving as a case manager and mediator while beginning to teach forgiveness.
In the summer of 2022, a judge told Sherwood he wanted to order forgiveness training from the bench. He thought it would be helpful to many of the litigants he was seeing. Sherwood now receives several clients each year who are ordered to attend by the judge.
While the training is secular, Sherwood believes that the Holy Spirit always plays a role. She cited one client who was experiencing so much conflict in his family that his children refused to speak to him. Midway through the training, his oldest daughter unexpectedly sent him her cell phone number “so he would have it.” They began to slowly rebuild their relationship, which eventually led to reconnecting with his younger daughter as well.
One woman reported that as a result of the training, she and her ex-husband were able to begin seeing each other socially and develop a friendship that was beneficial for their children. Sherwood believes these unexpected and unexplained events are from God and part of the process.
The Center for Peace and Forgiveness is open to anyone interested in learning how to forgive. Sherwood offers private sessions and a small group class called Breaking Free, a Journey into Forgiveness. Her next class starts in January. To date, there have been 43 graduates of the training.
by Chad Senuta
835 SW Polk St.